College. Does it matter? I've heard that when you get hired people don't really care. It's more about talent. But won't the college name help me in getting a job? Probably. But, do my grades matter? No. This fact makes me want to not try, maybe quit all together. That's terrible isn't it? I just want it to be over with, yet I don't want to go into the real world. I want to permanently be a kid. And with the economy down..I want to stay in school as long as possible. But these long nights of work and stress get to me. They make me hate life and want to roll up in a ball, put the covers over my head and never leave. But I have to.
Also, I feel like college is numbing my mind and deteriorating it rather than increasing it. I crave information and knowledge yet I feel like I'm getting non and recessing. I read, I read a lot, but nothing too informational due to seeking entertainment and a relief from real life rather than a sad tale about a real life, or sad recap of what happened yesterday anywhere in the world.
I just want to have fun do my thing and not worry about what I'm getting on a paper, or when my next type project is due. Also, I like the idea of a job hence having money, but I don't actually want a job. But I do. I got one. It's starting soon and I'm so excited for it. I can't wait for the store to open. Yet, at the same time, I really don't want to get up everyday and go to work and stand around and deal with jerks and be hassled by assholes about what sizes mean and what looks best on them. But I have to.
Theres a lot of those I have to do it times accompanied with I don't want to do it thoughts. That's the fear. That's growing up. Can't I just play in the dirt and read some books and swim and drink some kool-aid and be left alone? Not anymore. Not ever again.
On another note..
I finally got my wingtips in the mail and I'm in love with them.
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