you're pro WHAT?!

So, I've known about such things for awhile but never saw it until a few days ago. This..is a pro-anorexia bracelet. aka pro-ana. Apparently anorexia isn't just a disease but now a cult like movement. Really...I can't believe this shit. There are webpages, blogs, livejournals...you name it they got it, dedicated to this shit. It's basically a bunch of websites where people can share tips of how they shed pounds and use phrases like "thinspire me" with of course pictures of mary-kate olsen and nicole richie. This type of shit gets under my skin. There are people who really can't control feeling so low and such hatred for themselves...including those with eating disorders and it erks me. It freaks me out to know that self mutilation has been going on for centuries and centuries just to be "beautiful". I mean this dates back to Ancient China with feet binding and what not. It's just disturbing. And it hurts.
I'm sure there are young girls who feel bad about themselves and feel too fat too tall to whatever and go to these pages for advice on what to do, how to set goal weights and how to lose it fast. And its disgusting because girls and boys...don't realize what they're getting themselves into. I don't want to be lecturing. I don't want this to seem as a lecture. If you want to be thin I COMPLETELY understand. I'm a girl too. I've been a pre-teen and a teen with self image issues. Hello..I'm pretty sure everyone women in American and elsewhere has been in this position..feeling too fat too thin too ugly whatever. But to take the steps to actually start starving yourself and making yourself throw up is too much.
It's a downwards spiral and can take years..a lifetime to conquer. I know people who are 45 years old and still struggling with these issues, this disease. And it's not pretty or beautiful or attractive. It's like you always have a choice..atleast at the beginning. You can chose to do it the right way..to lose a few pounds by eating right and excersising and knowing when to stop. Or you can do it the wrong way by skipping a few meals..then skipping everything..then puking if you do eat. And once you enter that way of living..you're trapped. And then you develop really serious issues. And it gets out of control and you can't stop no matter how much you want to. Even if you look fine you're not...you're miserable. You WANT to be thin...you convince yourself you NEED to be thin. What the fuck is thin?!?!
You're killing yourself slowly. And no one can help you. The people that love you can't stop you. It's a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. They confront you..you hide you're lying and skipping meals and puking better. They don't confront you, you keep doing what you're doing. And looking back on it you realize how selfish it really is. For instance..this 45 year old even though she still struggles can see how much she hurt the people who loved her. Especially her parents. She tells me how selfish it was just because she wanted to be skinny and be beautiful. Since when is skinny beautiful? Marilyn Monroe was georgeous and she wasn't skinny. Neither was Audrey Hepburn, not by todays standards anyways. By todays standards they would be "too large". It's terrible.
Does that look pretty to you? What picture is more attractive?!
And..why are you flaunting your disease? Why are you wearing that stupid fucking bracelet? Are you proud that you're killing yourself slowly? Are you proud that you're hurting the people that care about you most? Why are you wearing it? Thats really what I want to know. Why the FUCK are you wearing that stupid fucking bracelet when my aunt almost died on a fucking hospital bed becuase of this fucking disease?! are you proud that you're starving yourself...are you proud that sooner or later you'll end up in a hospital too...please PLEASE tell me what there is to be so proud about. Maybe it's because you've reached your goal to be 88 pounds and look like a walking corpse...maybe you wanted to blend in with all the other people who were dying of disease that they didn't want like cancer and aids. I'm glad you're so proud to be anorexic and bulemic because no one else fucking is. I pitty you, silly girl with the pro-ana bracelet that I don't even know. I pitty you so much it makes me want to cry and hug you...not tell you anything. Not tell you you're pretty or beautiful or thin..because that won't make it better. Just cry because thats all I can do.