Am I asking too much to keep you at arms length?..a little venting

After moping around for weeks (I know its depressing) I've come to the realization that it is pointless. And, after talking to my dear good true best friend Olivia, I have decided that people suck. Yes, thats right my friends people suck. They're selfish, inconsiderate pricks, to be honest. I suppose it's somewhat human nature to put yourself first however, I find I sometimes have a HUGEEEE problem with this. I suck at it. I never put myself first and when I do I still feel like shit so it's like god damn whats the deal? I hate hindsight and I hate that it's 20/20 because when I look back on shit, most shit, I'm like fuck, JESUS FUCK, what is my deal? Why can't I do what I know I need to do? With some shit..I just can't let go. It's like the more you care about me the more I want you away from me and the more you treat me like shit the more I need you around. (this obviously isn't true in ALL scenarios but to some it couldn't be more evident.) It's ridiculous and really fucking common. It's common for people to do that shit and thats nuts. Why do people love struggles? Why do people do mean things? Why do people backstab their 'friends' and people they 'care' about in the back? What the fuck is wrong with humankind? People, including myself, need to become for selfless.
No ones perfect, but jesus why are you SUCH a disgustingly, disrespectful, overall bad person?
I've fucked up. I've made mistakes but never have I done it with such disregard as others do. I take full responsiblity for my actions and I know I have to I know that as a fucking human being I am responsible for the things I do and say and the people I hurt..and sometimes I don't give a shit until after I do the bad thing whatever it may be and sometimes I just can't stop it because of my own shit in my own head but I'm over it.
I'm keeping you at arms length.